It is best to give up the attitude of worrying about who others are or what they are thinking, Better to think about who you are and what you are thinking. Contemplate “Who am I”; “Why do I suffer?”. Ponder deeply about this. Go beyond the superficial. What looks back at you when you look in the mirror?
Only if we are willing to commit to an honest assessment of ourselves, can we identify the truth. The positive and the negative. Do not have an aversion to the negative. It is only by identifying it, can we take steps to correct it.
Perhaps the best “solutions” to our problems would be to not have gotten in those situations in the first place. Avoid getting involved and you avoid having to find a way out. The man who does not step into the quicksand has no need to look for a vine to pull himself out. Skillful thinking is needed to sidestep the situations that can cause us grief if we are not mindful of not getting involved in the first place. Do not place yourself in danger of being in a ‘wrong place, wrong time’ scenario.
So many people get into trouble and then you hear about the circumstances and think “What did they expect?” One who throws blood into the ocean can expect sharks. Good things do not happen after midnight it is said. Stay out of bars, restaurants, places where people congregate. Many of these people are drinking or just out looking for trouble and they make think you resemble it. The best way to avoid potential problems is to try to put ourselves as far away from them as possible. When they occur, take care of the great while they are still small.
Do you suffer from lack of motivation to practice? Perhaps the next time you are meditating, you can meditate on why you lack the motivation? What is holding you back? The will to practice regularly can come only from you and that is found deep inside the mind, which by the way can be found by practicing.
Verse 38 of the Dhammapada says that if the mind of a person keeps on wavering and if one’s enthusiasm keeps on coming and going, the wisdom of such a person does not grow.
There are no magic potions, waves of a wand, or celestial beings that can get you to sit down day after day, to try to change yourself. There is much more to practicing a wholesome lifestyle than just wanting to. Perhaps the most insightful one can be is to realize that one needs to practice. That things are not fine the way they are now. That is true illumination.
When I am in the library, I always find it amusing to look in the self-help area. It’s always 5 easy ways to change this or 30 days to change that. They certainly make happiness sound quick and easy to attain, no? The truth is of course, there are no easy ways my friend. The path to happiness and serenity are long roads full of detours and road construction.
Finding contentment in life is for most people, not an overnight occurrence. It takes time, effort, and failing quite often in order to succeed. Tao Te Ching verse 64 states that the journey of one thousand miles begins with one step. If this is daunting to you, just focus on one step at a time and not even think about the one thousand miles. Whether you actually go one thousand miles or not may not be even that important. What is important is that you are on the path and making the effort. Happiness is not about working hard but about working smart.
Here is how to do Sensation Meditation-
Sit comfortably, eyes either open or closed-
Pay attention to sensations around the head, the face, eyes-
From there, move your attention to the neck and then the shoulders-
Move your attention to the torso. Be aware of the sensation of your clothes touching you-
Pay attention to the arms, hands, and fingers. Be aware of the sense of touching-
Continue to move your awareness down throughout the rest of your body-
If you have any painful or annoying sensations, just try to observe them and let them pass-
Sit for at least 20 minutes. Once you move through the body, feel the sensation of the breath moving through your nostrils-
Now feel your whole body as one once again-
We are bombarded my friends with negativity from many directions. It is vital to use the teachings to shield us from this assault. Stay positive and focused on what is important. This shall carry you to great heights, far from the maddening crowds below.
We may still get angry, impatient, use wrong speech, etc…if we realize this is still happening and resolve to work on them that’s progress in itself. If you live deliberately, i.e. thinking before acting or speaking, you can eliminate many unwanted responses. Take a deep breath and remember to keep attention on it. It is a great way to give yourself some time to fend off that habitual negative pattern.
Here is a familiar story worth retelling. A person who goes to a city and asks a guard how the people are there. The guard asks him how the people were where he came from. He says to the effect of “they were mean, rude, greedy, etc…” The guard says “You’ll find the people here are the same way”.
Another traveler comes along later and asks the guard the same question. The guard asks him how the people were where he came from. He says “the people were friendly, helpful, compassionate…etc” The guard says “You’ll find the people here are the same way.”
Often we are the recipient of self-fulfilling prophecy. So why not hope for the best? Think “If anything can go well, it will”. Keep the waves of the mind flowing in a positive direction. Too many people give up too easily. Too many are defeated before the game even starts because their mind is entrenched in negative thought patterns.
Yes, as simplistic as it sounds, I have been thinking “This too shall pass” lately and it really has helped, even made me smile. This applies to the good as well as the bad. It helps to remember that impermanence renders desires to maintain the status quo worthless.
When stressed or when feeling giddy, ask yourself what difference it will make in a month, a year, a lifetime? Very few things are as important as we make them out to be. The flowers that we fought hard to get will die in a few days. The dark cloud over our heads will pass soon. What is on top now shall be on the bottom soon and vice versa. It is all part of the Way.
The main thing that we must understand and remember is that we are not the body. So no matter what we do to the body ,whether it be physically, cosmetically, or surgically, it will not give us satisfaction in the long term. The body exists independently. If you tell your body not to hurt, or not to get sick, does it listen?
Only by cultivating the mind can we find satisfaction. So the aim should be to satisfy the bodily needs only as much as necessary to maintain harmony and keep it in a healthy condition. The rest of our time should be spent on activities which help us to calm the mind and let it see clearly. The mind, body, and spirit must act in harmony; not too much one way or another. If one becomes dominant, then there is disharmony leading to chaos.
Look at a piece of gold or any other worldly object. Is it made of happiness? Is there any material item that actually contains happiness? Of course this is not the case, so then why does the foolish mind become deluded and constantly seek out happiness in such material things, somehow thinking they will bring happiness?
Lasting happiness and dare I say happiness of any real value comes from security within. Walking the Path and becoming one with the universe brings joy and contentment that no material object can ever bring.
